I have decided...

to LIVE, really live! Despite the fact I had a lapse in judgement and drank too much (jeez, just one time in 11 yrs...but really, really over did it), have been stressed beyond my mental capacity, have fallen off of the gym wagon and am now having re-occurring health challenges...I decided I do want to live, but not just live...really, really LIVE.

I want to be strong, beautiful, healthy, loving, happy (maybe, just maybe, even joyful ;0) I want to finally own & ride a motorcycle (okay..could be unhealthy...but think of all the fresh air!), I want to do some light body building, I want to show my kids what the opposite of my lives with them has been in the health realm...show them true health despite all circumstances & environmental factors. We make choices.

Now I am not the least healthy person in the world by any close race, I just see that I choose to live a mediocre life as far as choices for or against my health. It is all by default and living reactively rather than proactively or responsively.

That said...I am starting my weight loss goals up again. I went from 192 before last summer to 187 at the beginning of the summer, to 176 about a month ago (and it has stuck! thank you weight bearing exercises!). Here I am at 176 and my goal is 166 by the end of the year.

I am ready.

Wheat-Free Hurdles

So, as with any life style change, I am having major hurdles. You would think that with prices for bread going up, I would find even more reasons to ditch the wheat. Instead I go towards it with even more gusto...donuts, toasted bread snacks, pasta, tortillas, you name it! Did I mention that even Emergen-C has wheat in it??? So, along with that, I am going to make things even more improbable for me, and take on Weight Watchers again.

I know I will feel better, my body is screaming for change. When, that is the question. How does one do it when all their ducks are just not lining up and complying with the brain's desire? So, for now, one thought closer to the starting gates!

Not Wheat Free YET

I had a bit of a hiccup! I had no wheat-free altnernatives in the house and was starving! Not only did I have wheat, but dairy too (a quesidilla). So, planning a meal plan for the next two weeks and then going shopping for what I will need for my first 2 weeks of this wheat-free excursion.

I can't wait to lose the weight, upset stomach and inflammation!

Going Wheat Free!

I am taking the plunge, Starting on Sunday (and not tomorrow because I need to prepare for this, oh, and I am going to a Wedding/Potluck), I am going wheat-free for 21 days. I know this won't be an easy task, but I have great feelings that this will be very healing for my gut and total body. Wheat is not the great evil, that would be dairy, but it is sure close. I am excited to explore other grains with gusto! Label reading is a must! Did you know that even Emergen-C has wheat in it??? What's up with that?

I will log my journey as I go. Also, I am eventually going to go raw veggie this summer for a bit too. No, this has nothing to do with Oprah, although I missed that announcement because I wasn't watching that show (see, I miss some here and there!), this has been a long time coming for me. My vegan newsletter I get actually told me of Oprah doing this for 21 days, so I think it is awesome she is going to be totally candid about her journey. I talked to my chiropractor about my inflammation and muscles being so stiff and locked up for so many months now, and he recommended I follow my desire to go with it.

Will blog as I go!

MRCP & Results

I had my MRCP/MRI type deal. It was actually a couple of weeks ago and I got my results back pretty quickly! I am happy and disappointed at the same time. While the tests came back normal and I am not dying of anything (yeah!!!), I still have unknown pain that flairs up every so often, and is "unlabeled" (or labeled as unknown). According to this test, my liver looks normal. The Dr. basically said to go to OHSU for a second opinion (my last second opinion from them cost $75 AFTER insurance covered it...all for just looking at my test results). I told him no, I will just sit for a while after doing all these tests, and see what happens in a few months.

I have a follow up appt. in July, do my blood work in June before my appt. and we will see if my liver panel went up or down. If down...I will continue to make positive changes in my life. If up, well then off to OHSU for a 2nd opinion and for an appt. with a liver specialist. I still have a hard time with the fact that for years now I have these "flare ups" of random things and then they just disappear, totally! I guess we'll know more after the next flare up, and just hope that it isn't too bad of whatever flares up next? Going the healthy positive route, I can only hope that I get healthier overall and less flare ups, because I know the foods I eat (they aren't that bad actually) do create inflammation in my body so bad sometimes, for weeks, that my back and hips and legs and torso are just stiff from pain and swelling. All processed through the liver? One can only guess, and I am done with research for now. Just guessing games online and at the Dr's office. Just life now!

I am disappointed it wasn't something treatable, so I would KNOW nothing worse is wrong with me, so my pain would go away and so all this money and time spent wasn't in total vain.

For now, eating healthier, exercise, abandoning caffeine, fats & sweets, getting more sleep, positive thinking, happiness, meeting with my Chiropractor/Nutritional Consultant and taking Tylenol when the pain gets really bad should suffice! But isn't that the prescription for everyone really? Just basic good healthy habits leads to a good life. Jeez, and I spent all those thousands and thousands (or owe I should say) to find out that gem?

Mild Focal Acute Cholangitis

My Gasto, Dr. Em, says he isn't sure it is PBC now, or even PCS (which the name of the "possible" diagnosis is in the PCS description, but apparently not it?). Basically, I am in the "early stages" of inflammation of the bile ducts. My tests/biopsy was sent up to OHSU now to be reviewed and will know more in 2 weeks. As much as I want to know more, understand what exactly IT is, I appreciate that Dr. Em doesn't know and is getting another opinion, instead of bluffing his way through it for more money.

I have all the early symptoms of PBC/PCS (similar symptoms, very different outcomes in the end), and will just follow along w/ the dietary changes most PBCers make. They are common sense changes, low sodium, low fat, healthy & fresh fruits & veggies, drink lots of water, exercise...all the stuff we know we are supposed to do already!

The best outcome would be an infection that isn't showing many symptoms and taking a lot of antibiotics to get rid of it out of my body, and all will be good (hopefully). The worst outcome it seems is being diagnosed w/ one of the above, in which medication will be dolled out to slow damage.

Who knew something could go wrong w/ bile ducts! There are funny names for some too, the sphincter of Oddi, Ampulla Vader...makes you feel the "force" within you, haha.

So, NO CANCER, my ultimate fear! Yeah!

Results are in...

and they are sitting on my Dr's desk, since early this morning! I have called twice already, but he has a bunch of appointments and procedures today. Ugh. I hope he isn't planning reading them "after hours" and getting back to me tonight, or worse yet, tomorrow! I will call again, soon, just to keep the squeaky wheel effect going.

The nurse said she doesn't know how to read them, so he has to interpret them and take notes, and then he or she will call.

And so I wait, for my fate (thank goodness it is sunny and I am feeling up today!).